A new fear

There is this freeing fear within me now. It's a fear that I love. It's a fear that grounds me.

I fear You. It's fear infused with Awe. With this undying desire to not run outside Your timing.

I'm terrified of running ahead of You because I don't want to miss out on the miracles You have for me as I track with You. As I let you lead. As I rest and let you build.

Because the word "fear" has been bastardized, claimed for evil.

But really fear of God means reverence.

I revere You.

I don't need anything else but You.

And yet You allow me to desire because You love me. And You say that You will grant me those desires in a way that gives me the Best.

Who am I to deserve You?

So I fear You.

It's a Psalm 130 fear: "But with you there is forgiveness, so you are feared..."

My only prayer for you my other half is this:

That you would experience this intimacy, this new fear, this joy of having only God as your ally before you ever realize I'm the one God has for you.

Because it is only in this place of fear that nations are changed.