Calling

This is the topic of conversation for so many of us these days. Especially those of us nearing our 30's. What is my purpose? What is my calling?

This is something I have often wrestled with. 7 years ago I heard God "call" me. I heard it audibly. See that's the first thing about calling I have learned. It's an audible call. It's not just an idea you dream up. It actually has less to do with you and much more to do with the One who calls.

This year, the call I heard from God became a reality. I have experienced more joy and more fear all at the same time this year than any other year before it. I have experienced facing my deepest inadequacies and insecurities square in the face because here's the thing about calling:

It's not really about what you are good at or skilled at. In fact, those things can actually be a hindrance to your calling.

As I began this year, I imagined myself a clay jar being molded to fit the calling God gave me. I imagined Alabaster Mobile Clinic, the organization God told me to start 7 years ago, and I imagined myself being molded to fit it. As if I was a flat piece of dough and this Alabaster-shaped cookie cutter was being pressed into me each day. Each day, I was being formed more and more, being filled up more and more to fit this calling, to be more fit to run it, lead it, get donors, be a better nurse, etc.

I found myself actually becoming a better person. I started thinking about others more than myself. I started interceding for others before praying for myself. All of this, I thought was because I was being molded and shaped to run Alabaster.

I was so wrong.

See, Alabaster is not my calling. It is part of my calling, yes. It is a huge part of who I am and what I will be. And it is one of the most sacred things in my life. It is the seed that was conceived within me by the Holy Spirit even before I was born.

But I am not being molded and shaped to fit it.

I am being molded and shaped to be more and more like Jesus.

Jesus is my calling.

I am called to love and serve Him and Him alone in all I do. I find myself becoming a better version of myself because He is making me more like Him.

Alabaster is secondary. Our calling no matter how great is secondary to this fundamental truth:

We are called to be children of God, the beloved of the Most High.

The only way I can ever be fulfilled is to continually and consistently love and adore Him, acknowledge Him in all my ways, and seek Him first.

It is in seeking Him with all my body, mind, and soul that I inherit the riches of my calling:

To love and to be loved by the Creator of the universe.
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