Love and Waiting

It's a common thing for those of us in our 20's, going into 30's. That threshold place where we are no longer young adults, but just adults. Scary right?

It's not just that we see a couple more grey hairs or we realize how much closer we are to developing the chronic diseases we reprimand our parents for. See it is during this time that the burning question arises. Not that it wasn't there before, but it rears its head more intentionally now.

The question is this: Where is my soul mate?

Disclaimer: This post is not for those who want to get married to satisfy loneliness. That is merely a by product of marriage. And frankly if you believe in Jesus Christ, loneliness is a lie anyway, because God in His three forms, is always with us.

And yet the question. That burning question remains. It makes internet dating sites rich. Psychic readers, therapists, perhaps even pastors, more busy, as throngs of men and women seek the answer.

I am one such seeker. I don't claim to be above it. Quite the opposite. And I don't for one second say that the loneliness is easy. That the Saturday nights watching I Love Lucy episodes in my unflattering pink night gown, diet coke in one hand, canned peaches in the other, don't get really old after...multiple years.

But see, finding the answer to this question can be either this: easy or not as easy. It's never actually difficult. We just make it difficult.

Really easy if we don't really care about the caliber, length, or significance of marriage. If you want to get married to have a warm body to sleep next to, physical intimacy, and to pop out a few kids, the answer is simple. Millions of people find this answer really easily every day.

BUT

if you want your marriage to MEAN something other than this. If you want it to be intricately connected to the reason you were created. If you want it to propel you to be the best version of yourself. If you want it to mean the difference between mediocrity and greatness. If you want it to blow away every definition of love, understanding, security, and intimacy you have ever known. If you want it to have GOD written all over it...

the answer is less easy.

Because: there will be many No's, before the ONE yes. And to humans, that makes the answer not so easy. We don't like to wait. To us, waiting isn't the greater yes, it's a slap in the face.

To God, waiting is the difference between life and death. It's the difference in Him loving us and Him hating us. To Him the waiting is just as important as the gift itself. A blessing, albeit good, at the wrong time, is a disaster.

See, I've been waiting a long time. I've endured my share of no's. Painful no's. No's that pushed me toward brinks of despair and sadness. No's that left me disappointed and even more alone. However, does that entitle me to anything? Umm...no. A gift is a gift. It cannot be earned, just accepted when it is freely given.

To my beautiful, successful, talented, accomplished, smart, kind, Godly girlfriends I say this:

Let us wait. Wait and then wait more. That great Yes will shatter every memory of the no we have ever experienced.

And more importantly, this:

A yes from God will need no explanation. A gem is a gem not because you call it a gem, but because it just is one. It needs no justification, no proclamation. It needs no confirmation from others. Just confirmation from One. The yes, may not be sexy. It may not be drought-ending and people being raised from the dead. But,

It will be this:

"It was the pure language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe need none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only women in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than anything in the world. He had been told by his grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language (love). Because when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city.

And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning" - The Alchemist, pg. 92-93

See I want this. When I'm in the presence of my husband, I want to experience the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one Hand alone.

I want to know even more fully how big, real, and gracious my God is.

And who knows? Perhaps it won't be some love-at-first-sight, leap-in-the-womb, magic. But it will be that level of certainty. It will be that level of peace. It will be that level of love. My marriage will show me in the deepest of ways, how known I am by my God.

Because love is the outpouring of knowing. Just read Psalm 139.

I won't settle for anything less.

I want to DELIGHT in being single. What would that actually look like? To have consistent joy while single even in the face of others' marriages, engagements, or baby showers?

This is the NEW ANSWER I seek.

Singleness is not meant to be a season of waiting for marriage. I have to tell myself this every day.

Singleness is learning that universal language of Love. Allowing myself to be known and loved by my Husband and learning to love like Him.

What a truly joyous time, really? What are you doing tonight? Oh, being loved by the God of the Universe.

...

It doesn't sound sexy. I can't call my girlfriends and giggle about it. I can't write a sappy facebook status about it (well maybe sometimes).

But, it sure is the real longing of my body, mind, and soul. Right?

So I'll admit. I'm waiting. I'm waiting to meet my soul mate. I have yet to find the answer to my burning question.

But perhaps there are surprises in the waiting. Something even more precious.

Love and waiting

Love and waiting

or maybe this:

Love is waiting.