Friday, October 28, 2011

Free

What does it mean to truly be free?

It's interesting because free is actually different from freedom. I can have freedom and still not be free.

Get it? Having free will is not being free. Actually, the longer you walk with God, the more you realize that free will is often the antithesis of being free. Can I get an Amen?

Being free has nothing to do with having the freedom to do whatever you want. It has nothing to do with being above something. It has nothing to do with being free of something, negative or positive. These may be byproducts, but not the essence of being free. Being free is this: knowing who you are IN God and who God is. See when you know this, nothing has hold on you. Good or bad.

Free is characterized by the truth. Who you truly are and who God truly is.

Being free has to do with living out truth. Or perhaps being vulnerable enough to let the truth find you.

The most free person, is the person that is 100% him or herself consistently. It is only in being real, that you meet the living God. See God won't heal a figment of your imagination or the person you try to be or not be. He fixes you, the real you. We aren't really fooling anyone, least of all God.

I've realized something after 8 intentional years of following God:

I will never reach my fullest potential, the greatest version of myself, if I'm not free. Unless every thing is in it's rightful place, starting with God.

So how do you even become free?

I mean I can say I'm myself and I love God, and He's on the throne, and yet still be consumed in insecurity, fear, and inadequacy. Still be held by people's opinions. Still need the security of money or material goods. Still be held by affirmation from men.

Here's what I think:

You aren't really free, unless you've experienced being shackled without the key. To really understand what it means to be free, you have to learn to thrive in prison. That's why Joseph was a monster. He thrived everywhere. His free was not based on favorable circumstances or even well being. It was a different caliber of free.

See because in order to be indestructible, you have to be destroyed first. That's like the basic tenet of the Bible. Unless a grain falls to the ground and dies, it will not yield a harvest. Jesus was crucified before He lived forever.

Once you die and rise, nothing else matters except the One that rose you. You are gripped, seized, consumed by Him and His purposes for you.

And when that happens. People's opinions, the world's titles, that man or woman's level of attraction to you, how much money you make, how many people you get to come to church, whatever mediocre measure of status, acceptance, or love you may have needed or deemed important, all of these things become laughable.

I would have to argue that David killed Goliath, not because he had courage, not even because he had immense faith.

He killed Goliath because he was free. Free to fail or succeed. Free to be a shepherd boy in front of a giant. Free to wrestle with his own inadequacy and lack of skill and simultaneously believe in a God who uses the meek to humble the mighty. David didn't give a flying crap about his competence or lack thereof. He just knew who He belonged to.

David became Goliath in that moment. He became a beast.

Free understands who God is in comparison to every worldly construct, even humans. Who messes with the armies of the living God? said David. It's not that he thought he could win, he knew God already won. It's that simple.

Let's keep it real. The majority of Christians in America will never fully understand this level of victory. They will never experience surviving the lions' den, slaying the giant, thriving in prison.

Why?

Because they choose free will over being free. We consistently choose our familiar, comfortable, satisfying, easy, agendas over God's fire, over His training, over His pruning.

Wanna know the easiest antidote for our lazy, disgusting, existence?

Saying this phrase:

"Not my will, but Thy will be done."

Isn't that what Jesus said in the Garden before He was crucified?

Isn't that what Moses essentially did when he threw down his staff? He submitted everything he had, everything he was to God, who eventually turned him into a sea-divider.

Isn't that what Abraham did when he tied Isaac to that altar?

See when you say those four words, you say to God: I no longer belong to myself or to the world, I belong to You. I am willing to give up what is most precious to me.

And then you will experience a death, a throwing down, that will result in eternal and glorious consequences: victory, miracles, power, joy, love.

You will be free.

Free understands more fully a God who gives freely, graciously, and without measure or condition, to all His children

Free also exalts and praises a God who takes away, disciplines, trains in love

Free understands the sovereignty of a God who in EVERY circumstance is for us

Free understands that Jesus overcame the entire world. Past tense.

When you are free, you are not weighed down anymore by anything or anyone. Not even yourself.

You fly.

And as you fly, you have one and only one aim:

To get to the One who gave you your wings.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Love and Waiting

It's a common thing for those of us in our 20's, going into 30's. That threshold place where we are no longer young adults, but just adults. Scary right?

It's not just that we see a couple more grey hairs or we realize how much closer we are to developing the chronic diseases we reprimand our parents for. See it is during this time that the burning question arises. Not that it wasn't there before, but it rears its head more intentionally now.

The question is this: Where is my soul mate?

Disclaimer: This post is not for those who want to get married to satisfy loneliness. That is merely a by product of marriage. And frankly if you believe in Jesus Christ, loneliness is a lie anyway, because God in His three forms, is always with us.

And yet the question. That burning question remains. It makes internet dating sites rich. Psychic readers, therapists, perhaps even pastors, more busy, as throngs of men and women seek the answer.

I am one such seeker. I don't claim to be above it. Quite the opposite. And I don't for one second say that the loneliness is easy. That the Saturday nights watching I Love Lucy episodes in my unflattering pink night gown, diet coke in one hand, canned peaches in the other, don't get really old after...multiple years.

But see, finding the answer to this question can be either this: easy or not as easy. It's never actually difficult. We just make it difficult.

Really easy if we don't really care about the caliber, length, or significance of marriage. If you want to get married to have a warm body to sleep next to, physical intimacy, and to pop out a few kids, the answer is simple. Millions of people find this answer really easily every day.

BUT

if you want your marriage to MEAN something other than this. If you want it to be intricately connected to the reason you were created. If you want it to propel you to be the best version of yourself. If you want it to mean the difference between mediocrity and greatness. If you want it to blow away every definition of love, understanding, security, and intimacy you have ever known. If you want it to have GOD written all over it...

the answer is less easy.

Because: there will be many No's, before the ONE yes. And to humans, that makes the answer not so easy. We don't like to wait. To us, waiting isn't the greater yes, it's a slap in the face.

To God, waiting is the difference between life and death. It's the difference in Him loving us and Him hating us. To Him the waiting is just as important as the gift itself. A blessing, albeit good, at the wrong time, is a disaster.

See, I've been waiting a long time. I've endured my share of no's. Painful no's. No's that pushed me toward brinks of despair and sadness. No's that left me disappointed and even more alone. However, does that entitle me to anything? Umm...no. A gift is a gift. It cannot be earned, just accepted when it is freely given.

To my beautiful, successful, talented, accomplished, smart, kind, Godly girlfriends I say this:

Let us wait. Wait and then wait more. That great Yes will shatter every memory of the no we have ever experienced.

And more importantly, this:

A yes from God will need no explanation. A gem is a gem not because you call it a gem, but because it just is one. It needs no justification, no proclamation. It needs no confirmation from others. Just confirmation from One. The yes, may not be sexy. It may not be drought-ending and people being raised from the dead. But,

It will be this:

"It was the pure language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe need none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only women in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than anything in the world. He had been told by his grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language (love). Because when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city.

And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning
" - The Alchemist, pg. 92-93

See I want this. When I'm in the presence of my husband, I want to experience the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one Hand alone.

I want to know even more fully how big, real, and gracious my God is.

And who knows? Perhaps it won't be some love-at-first-sight, leap-in-the-womb, magic. But it will be that level of certainty. It will be that level of peace. It will be that level of love. My marriage will show me in the deepest of ways, how known I am by my God.

Because love is the outpouring of knowing. Just read Psalm 139.

I won't settle for anything less.

I want to DELIGHT in being single. What would that actually look like? To have consistent joy while single even in the face of others' marriages, engagements, or baby showers?

This is the NEW ANSWER I seek.

Singleness is not meant to be a season of waiting for marriage. I have to tell myself this every day.

Singleness is learning that universal language of Love. Allowing myself to be known and loved by my Husband and learning to love like Him.

What a truly joyous time, really? What are you doing tonight? Oh, being loved by the God of the Universe.

...

It doesn't sound sexy. I can't call my girlfriends and giggle about it. I can't write a sappy facebook status about it (well maybe sometimes).

But, it sure is the real longing of my body, mind, and soul. Right?

So I'll admit. I'm waiting. I'm waiting to meet my soul mate. I have yet to find the answer to my burning question.

But perhaps there are surprises in the waiting. Something even more precious.

Love and waiting

Love and waiting

or maybe this:

Love is waiting.