Today could easily be dismissed. Trivial in the grand scheme of things. But I choose to recognize it. To create an altar so-to-speak. To give praise to a God that knows not the bounds of time.
Today was my first official day seeing patients as a nurse practitioner student. I can't fully explain the elation I felt putting on that lab coat. Cleaning the bell of my stethoscope. I looked in the mirror and wanted to cry.
Many continue on into advanced practice nursing because they want more money, it's the next step, they for some reason want a master's degree, etc. However, being an N.P isn't anything like that for me. It's not the next best thing. It is THE thing. I dreamt about this moment since I was five.
The moment I could put on a lab coat, hang my stethoscope around my neck, and help people. It's all I have EVER wanted. 22 years I've wanted it.
God reminded me of how far I've come in a dream the night before. I was in front of a group of strangers recounting my tragic rejection from med school. The long, grueling journey through community college, nursing school, needle sticks, sleepless night shifts, tear-filled days at work, upteen amount of schooling, all leading up to that "greater yes." The perfect product.
God's yes wasn't getting into medical school right after college. That was indeed my yes. No, God's yes included: medical clinics to Mexico and Haiti, bracelet projects in Kenya, nursing at the bedside, teaching, leadership, mentoring, lifelong learning.
I forgot where I came from. From when I was a unit secretary and couldn't stand the smell of patient rooms. From when I first walked into a patient room and was terrified. From my first injection. From passing the NCLEX. My first time as an independent nurse. My first mobile clinic.
And now today.
It felt so very right. The greater yes always will.
So today, I don't long to get "there." Instead, I praise God for where I am NOW.
For how far He has brought me.
And how faithful He is to see me through all the way.
Amen.
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2 comments:
I was at Coldstone. I can't remember if I was alone talking on the phone with you or if you were there in person. I think you were there in person. And you were so unhinged because working as a nurse was harder than you'd ever imagined. This was your first month on the job — a while ago now. And you hated it. And you were terrified. But you were the nurse who showed up to work an hour early so that you could sit in your car and pray. EVERY shift. And less than a year later, you loved every minute of it. You found no joy greater than wiping down sick people and changing bed pans. And it's proof to me that God is so good and faithful and worthy to be praised. That he knows our hearts and our desires better than we ever could. Your life, to me, is so amazing. Thank you for your story. <3
wow thank you for reminding me of that. im grateful for friends like you.
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